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electric-daisy-forest:

help-mywife:

help, my wife got wine drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire, saying “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”

10/10 me

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Published by musiclily88

I have been told that I am a CUTE PERVERT. Mostly, though, I'm a bisexual witch-slash-mermaid-slash-cloud of chaos. Honestly, I typically refer to myself as a human trash heap with delusions of grandeur. "Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both." — Dorothy Parker

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