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Me on the phone: I’m driving home from therapy.

My mom: There’s an increased risk of people getting in car accidents or tripping/falling when they’re stressed!!

Me: K Imma go run down a pedestrian byeeee!

Mom: Very funny.

Me: I know

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Published by musiclily88

I have been told that I am a CUTE PERVERT. Mostly, though, I'm a bisexual witch-slash-mermaid-slash-cloud of chaos. Honestly, I typically refer to myself as a human trash heap with delusions of grandeur. "Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both." — Dorothy Parker

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