apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office
this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left
I have been told that I am a CUTE PERVERT. Mostly, though, I'm a bisexual witch-slash-mermaid-slash-cloud of chaos.
Honestly, I typically refer to myself as a human trash heap with delusions of grandeur.
"Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both."
— Dorothy Parker
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