I had a server tell me about how he was harassed into going to a church baptism ceremony by a not so close friend and to get them off his back he agreed
He decided some time before that of he was going to be forced to do this her might as well have fun with it right? So he goes to lush and buys one of the black bath bombs, and cuts it in half.
Now fast forward to the day of and he is wearing a small harness under his shirt that is keeping both haves of the bath bomb one either shoulder blade.
He volunteers to get baptised
They take him up put him in the white robe and then he waits for his turn. Now the friend who invited him had no clue what he is doing. They are pleasantly surprised to see him participating.
Honestly. A mistake on their part.
I only knew this guy for a max of 45 minutes and I could already tell this dude was a chaos entity.
So his turn comes up and they go to dunk him and the water immediately starts to foam and turn black and he starts screaming like a banchee jumps out the water and hisses at the priest
Everyone fucking lost it and her was banned from ever attending that church again.
So yeah all in all seems like a great thing to do for a hilarious story
The fuck? The fuck? The fuck is in the air? The fuck? There’s white shit everywhere~ The fuck? I must be fuckin’ baked And this shit’s pro’lly fake The hell, Jack, did we take? The fuck?
the fuck? the fuck?
there’s somethin’ fucking wrong
the fuck?
these bitches singin’ songs
the fuck?
the streets are lined with sketchy creatures laughing
“Starter house”?????? We’re supposed to have more than one house???????
So now you want to listen to what we’ve been hollering about since before fucking Occupy Wallstreet?????
They started us off $35k+ in student loan debt, paid us ‘70s wages, charged us modern prices, and then couldn’t understand why we were broke.
Is “no shit, sherlock?” still an acceptable answer?
Oh, the “starter house” thing. This is what you used to do when you were just starting out: you bought a house for just you and your spouse. You sold it to a younger couple and moved into a bigger house no later than the birth of your first or second kid. By that time, you were supposed to have been promoted and gotten a raise or two, at least… oh, and by the way, that raise was to be big enough that you could not only afford that bigger house, you could afford it on one salary, because that was when your wife stopped working to stay home with the kids.
That’s how my grandparents (immediately post-WWII) did it. That’s how my parents (mid-1970s) did it. Oh, and the third house my parents ever purchased, when they upgraded to a still affordable but spacious and very nice one, when I was a preteen? The purchase price was maybe 1.5 times my dad’s salary, with payments spread out over a 30-year mortgage.
But yeah, Millennials, who mostly weren’t even born the last time this was feasible, are the ones who are ruining everything.
How can some straight women do 95% of the housework and childcare with little to no help from their husbands and still wonder how two women could raise a child together?
A thing that’s weird about lgbtq+ experience is being in the early part of your third decade and nonetheless being treated like a rare community elder to people like all the college students you teach and your brother’s queer friends. It’s like I barely know anything but I have an apartment and I have once cooked a full chicken and I have a career…I AM NOW THEIR GRANDMOTHER.
This is why adult, middle aged, and older lgbtq+ visibility matters SO MUCH in our community. I haven’t actually lived that much I need more people around the campfire!!!
We all are stardust 