queenieeegoldstein:

queenieeegoldstein:

apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

toboldlygointothedogpark:

zoeyashe:

once on halloween in high school i decided that i would give myself a treat and “forget” my gym uniform and therefore lose participation credit for the day because you cant participate without the uniform. and the teacher was like, “if you’re in costume you don’t lose credit today because halloween,” and was listing off students who were visibly in costume who would get basically free credit, and she said my name much to my surprise and i realized that. she had never seen me in my regular clothes more than once or twice a couple months previously. she thought i was in costume. she had no idea i was just super fuckin goth.

I mean even the raw sentiment of giving yourself a gift of no gym class on Halloween is goth enough in itself

quasi-normalcy:

imaginationover-load:

quasi-normalcy:

Ordinary Kid™ falls into fantasy realm.

Ordinary Kid™ gets told by local fairies he’s the chosen one.

Ordinary Kid™ told he needs to defeat the evil wizard.

Ordinary Kid™ immediately gets his ass killed.

1st Fairy to the 2nd Fairy: “You’ve really got to stop telling them that.”

2nd Fairy to the 1st Fairy: “Well sooner or later, it’s bound to be true for one of the little fuckers.”

Yes good thank you please write for tv

The rest of the series turns out to be about the amoral adventures of these two fairies.

fluffybadgerstudies:

wenchingwithshakespeare:

dukeofbookingham:

I know I run a book blog so maybe this isn’t the right platform for this, but girls: Please look out for other girls. Tonight I was stuck at a bus stop in Shoreditch circa 2 AM and saw another young woman getting harassed by a drunk, aggressive dude, and at first I thought, “She’s got it under control.” But then he started touching her and I went “No, that’s definitely not right.” So I barged over and shoved him out of the way and said, “Beth?? Oh my God, how are you, I haven’t seen you since grade school!” And this girl I’d never seen before in my life threw her arms around my neck and whispered, “You are an angel, thank God.” We talked for fifteen minutes, the creep lost interest, I watched her get on the bus and I will sleep so much better knowing she got home in one piece. If you see something weird happening, intervene. The worst that can happen is embarrassment, and I think that’s worth the risk when you consider the alternative.

Every platform is the right platform for this.

Yes, always reblog. Also if you don’t feel safe intervening call the police!