ya know. eating almonds, watching Lilo and Stitch, waiting to hear about the mortal health of my grandmother.
Tag: irl
DISTRACT ME PLEASE BAD SHIT IS GOING DOWN IN MY FAMILY
Me: is that bad Spiderman?
My roommate: I keep telling you that’s Venom
Me: Tom Hardy is so hot
My roommate: why are you like this
Is Keanu Reeves a cryptid
I make terrible decisions when I’m single
Lights: off
Compression stockings: on
Muumuu: seductively unzipped to reveal just one titty
I have a bruise on my face from where a kid kicked me
Me: Did I ever tell you I took a burlesque class once?
Him: I mean I always knew you had a fondness for showing off, so I can’t say I’m surprised.
Me: Oh my god, I’m laughing out loud right now. Fuck you for calling me out on my shit.
Me: “Fondness for showing off” goddamn.
Him: Never complaining though!
Just sexted with this guy and then mentioned I watched Hocus Pocus today
Sorry but boys are stupid
We all are stardust 