REAL TALK

Real talk, everyone. Go to a Target with a CVS pharmacy and get a NO-COST flu shot, and they will give you a $5 gift card for anything in-store. Their pharmacists are always super nice and chill, and they know their stuff.

My parents’ genetic miasma has come together to create a big-boobed, crazy-haired, depressive OCD mess

Having a cat on my feet is way more grounding than a weighted blanket

I suppose it feels good to be adored

So I listened to My Favorite Murder yesterday and heard about the Party Monster murder and now I’m watching Party Monster with Macaulay Culkin and Seth Green and this movie is RIDICULOUS

My psychiatrist: So if you get pregnant, you can be on the celexa, but the gabapentine can cause birth defects.

Me: Right. Definitely not pregnant. I wanna be someday, but—

My psychiatrist: Gay women can get pregnant too.

Me: No, I know.

My psychiatrist: Wait. Are you gay or bi? I forget.

Me: Bisexual. Yeah.

Me: But I’m definitely, definitely not pregnant.

This cat is sleeping on my feet right now. What did I do to deserve that? NOTHING but here we are. Here we very well are.

Me: I’m just gonna have to come to terms with the fact that I’m someone who will always needs meds and therapy.

My therapist: That’s a thing that may be true

Me: Not encouraging, friend

Things I keep crowing to my roommate’s cat

What do you want?

How can I help you today?

What the actual fuck?

Why are you being so weird?

Stop tryna eat my foot

Ahhhhhhhh (when she peers at me from the dark)

Sit down!

Staaaaahp

THAT IS MY BODY

THAT is also my body

I love you, but you’re a hazard

Big dick hangry