Tag: thanks i guess

My psychiatrist: So if you get pregnant, you can be on the celexa, but the gabapentine can cause birth defects.

Me: Right. Definitely not pregnant. I wanna be someday, but—

My psychiatrist: Gay women can get pregnant too.

Me: No, I know.

My psychiatrist: Wait. Are you gay or bi? I forget.

Me: Bisexual. Yeah.

Me: But I’m definitely, definitely not pregnant.

My mom: Do you remember the time we were visiting your aunt for the 4th of July, and you were so worried that a firework would fall on our blankets?
Me: No, but that sounds like me.
My mom: And then it actually happened?
Me: That also sounds like me.
My mom: [Your aunt] said, “She’s always been a smart girl.”