onlyblackgirl:

catchymemes:

I’ve heard from a lot of older folks that they just had monkeys. Apparently you could just get them at the pet stores like nbd.

A got damn Monkey.

followthebluebell:

kleppy02:

followthebluebell:

fimbry-talks:

Love when my cat flings himself into the air after a toy, but he has no style. Straight up ragdoll physics.

One day i want to take a video of Yardstick straight-up hurling himself into the void. Cats have no conception that there is a future. There is just now and the jingly toy.

Your cat’s name is Yardstick?

He has three feet.

new podcast pitch

slimetony:

five friends crammed in a small shower to discuss topics but if somebody uses a secret word selected beforehand the shower turns on for the rest of the podcast

yiffmaster:

this is about The Grinch

kallypsowrites:

redwwood:

comickit:

redwwood:

pottamux:

chaoticroguekel:

pottamux:

captaincromch:

redwwood:

redwwood:

My mom kept all our baby teeth but she didn’t separate them so there’s just a box she had with like. Three sets of random teeth mixed around

Okay I’m so sorry this isn’t actually funny but it’s like. Really funny. I’m so sorry

wtf dogs lose their teeth. also who the fuck keeps baby teeth that’s horrific

My mom kept my baby teeth. And then my second set fell out so I kept those in a little bag and now we both have a set of my baby teeth.

wait what. how many teeth do you have im so confused.

I had 3 sets of teeth. So did my older brother. It was weird cause I’d had them for a few years and then they all started coming out all at once. Had a full new set in like 2 weeks. My dentist said it was fine since nothing grew out of place so idk.

I’m sorry what you grew teeth like a shark? What?

When i was younger I watched my babysitter take a plastic bag containing all her baby teeth and crushed them all into powder under the leg of a chair bc she was bored

Excuse me?

This post is like getting punched repeatidly, but from a different angle each time

gabrieldreyfuss:

When you find the one

toadschooled:

It’s okay to soak just your buttcheeks. It’s easy to do, and its free

candygarnet:

shamwowxl:

wine-dark-sea:

ilyasaurus:

randomfandomteacher:

indigopersei:

broitsablog:

wildeisms:

@indigopersei is the french language just always on the verge of getting someone accused of assault or..?

my friend,
if only you knew

It’s a very dangerous language to learn

Here’s an interesting thing about French! Everything needs to have an article in front of it. That’s why it’s “la chat” as opposed to just “chat”. So, for instance, you could say la fille for the girl, or jeune fille for young girl, but you can’t just say fille, because that means you are calling her a sex worker in a derogatory way.

The moral of the story is, if you want to make something rude in French, just take out the article in front of it. Yes, this works for nearly. every. word.

#now I’m wondering how often my high school french teacher was silently screaming because of this little fact

Every year. Every year there’s that kid who forgets that you can’t translate “I am excited” to “Je suis excitée”. And every year Monsieur Jordan has to slam the brakes before that kid can finish his sentence and then tactfully ask him not to announce to the class that he is horny.

“is the french language always on the verge” oh buddy, oh pal, i am so happy to break this news to you:

truly the language of love